Faith, (A Mustard Seed; Is it Enough?)

Faith the size of a mustard seed is no longer enough for me. My desire is to seek more from the almighty and enjoy all he has for me. I just know deep in my heart that what God has for me, a mustard seed could not hold, and neither could the world.
God is so big how can I continue to keep him this box that I've kept him in for so long. Not letting him lead my life as he sees just, but taking the wheel myself and driving of the road several times over.
Faith; what does this word mean? for me it's just to wide to say 'I have faith' without saying who I have faith in.

But the problem is, sometimes I'm not sure if God is always with me. Sometimes I feel I'm all alone, as if God just gave up on me. Stop telling me the light is at the end of of the tunnel when you can't even see it yourself. So when I feel that way do I still have faith?
I'm so tired of using the excuse "I am only human" as if we were created poorly.

For sure we are not perfect, but do we use that as an excuse to screw up and live in sin and then say "I am not perfect, I'm only human". So when is it appropriate to play the human card and when is it time to own up?

The word of God says that a mustard seed is enough, so then it must be. But am I wrong for seeking more? I just think of his grace and mercy and I can't just contain it to a mustard seed. No matter how many times I turned my back on him, he still waits with open arms. No I can not see him but I feel him, and what I feel is far better then what I can actually see. My desire is to live a life as pure as possible, and be more like Christ who walked this earth and battled sin, then went on to take my sins and carry my burdens; O Lord I can only imagine.

My God am I wrong to seek more then a mustard seed? I am clear on the fact that it is enough but if my one desire is to be like your son Jesus then I need to seek more.

Yusuf A. Tillery!